For as long as I can remember I have despised this day. The days leading up to it is those of dread and anxiousness. When I woke up this morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to slink away and not face the day. Not face the fact that we have been abandoned. Of course, it is nothing new. My father has been gone from my life for 29 years, you would think I would be use to it by now. Elijah's father has never been apart of his life. Fours years have come and gone. Four years he can never get back. I often wonder if either of our father's ever think of us.
Don't get me wrong. There is a blessing in our life. Elijah has the best relationship with my stepfather, Ronnie. No words can express the gratitude I feel towards that man for what he does for my son. And me.
I went to church today. I didn't want to, but I did. We have some amazing dad's at our church and I tried to tell each of them Happy Father's Day. I truely admire them.